


Shadows of Khan

by gammacorvi



Series: Of Friendship and Wormholes [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 08:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7428097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gammacorvi/pseuds/gammacorvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Khan has left an imprint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadows of Khan

Scotty finds Spock at the access door to the warp core, one hand on the transparent aluminum, the other curled in a loose fist behind his back.

It is _that_ very door and Scotty is on a mission to erase every last reminder of that ill-fated day from his beloved warp core. So he doesn't hesitate, but says:

“Sorry, Commander, we have work to do.”

He makes shooing gestures with both hands and Spock, without a word, steps aside.

The Captain is standing on a walkway, 20 feet above, in the middle of an animated conversation with Chekhov who explains something, using mostly his hands.

Spock looks up at them. Then he gathers his hands behind his back and departs, every movement of his body neat and economical.

Scotty very much respects Spock. In fact, from the first time he saw him on the bridge of the Enterprise he has taken a special liking to him. He is consequently not fooled by Spock's impassivity and lack of emotion, especially not since he was there, when Spock was kneeling in front of that door not so long ago. Some instinct told him that he would be doing the Captain and the Commander a disservice if he didn't let them say their good-byes without a whole bunch of people looking on. Maybe that was a mistake but he doesn't think so, because the relationship between them has much improved since then. It can, in fact, almost be described as friendly and Scotty is very pleased with the outcome. Everyone needs an associate. He wouldn't know what to do without Keenser, so there you go.

He has discussed the warp core modifications in great detail with Spock and seems to remember that he promised him a complete redesign that would make the warp core more accessible and eliminate the possibility of a misalignment. Actually, he remembers saying that no more dying would be done in the warp core behind doors that could not be opened, a statement that was received by Spock with some gratitude. It has been a challenge to make good on that promise, but Chekhov has helped with the necessary calculations and Scotty thinks they have come up with something that will revolutionize warp core design in general.

So he gets to work.

~~~

“What is it, Spock?”

The Captain is sitting at his desk in the ready room and doesn't even look up. There is a definite note of irritation in his voice but Spock is not deterred. He has made sure that the door to the bridge closed behind him, because these little confrontations have become everyday occurrences and it is best to deal with them in private.

The Captain's recovery has been a recovery in stages, compounded by his traumatic experiences at the hands of Section 31.

“Are you satisfied with the Captain’s progress?” Spock had asked the Doctor not too long ago.

“Sure,” was the answer. “He’s actually doing better than I expected. Give him time, Spock. He’ll be back to normal in no time. He’s a pretty tough customer.”

Spock is unsure what ‘normal’ constitutes for the Captain. The Doctor's statement is vaguely worrying.

“Are you okay, Spock? I know Jim’s a handful to deal with at the moment. If you… “

“Not at all, Doctor. I will let you know if there are any problems.”

Spock much prefers to deal with the Captain alive than dead. He is immensely grateful that things have turned out the way they did.

“I have come to remind you that it is time for supper.”

The Captain is completely immersed in the Enterprise refit. He forgets to eat, drink and sleep. The Doctor has assured Spock that this is a temporary problem and that the Captain will soon be able to take care of himself once again.

“Jim Kirk? He was never able to take care of himself,” Nyota said, when he mentioned the Doctor’s words to her, but the smile on her face was indulgent and she has been taking frequent meals with the Captain, since he complains that Spock is not a good companion at mealtimes.

In fact, this morning he said: “You eat one leaf of lettuce and those yucky, purplish Vulcan things and that's it. It’s disgusting Spock.”

It is fortunate that Nyota was not there to hear it.

Spock is usually impervious to his insults, but this one had a different quality. The Captain had hit him where it hurt most.

Take those yucky, purplish Vulcan things. Plomeeks, a Vulcan delicacy, sadly now extinct. Spock's father had been able to obtain a few that had been kept by an Andorian trader in cold storage and presented them to his son as a present. Spock had been savouring them until the Captain's remark. It had been a hurt quite unlike anything else Spock has ever experienced because it came from someone he had trusted with his life and soul.

Now he looks at his Captain, wearily. He has to assume that the Captain has no idea what he  said this morning or of its impact. In that case it is a blunder that can be attributed to his recovery process and, as such, should be forgiven.

“I don’t have time, Spock” the Captain says, distracted. “Can’t you see that I’m in the middle of something?”

“Jim,” Spock begins, and there is an unmistakable note of affection in his voice, “it would be advisable…”

The Captain looks up sharply, his eyes blazing and Spock almost takes a step back.

“Mind your own business, Mr. Spock, I'm sick of your half-breed interference. Do you hear?”

Then he goes back to look at his PADD as if nothing had happened.

Spock leaves the ready room. He makes it to the turbolift and lets the door close before he stretches out a hand to steady himself.

The turbolift takes him to engineering and Spock walks to the aft storage facility before he discovers that he has no idea what he is doing. He stops in front of the weapons locker, head bent, oblivious of two ensigns, who give him a strange look in passing.

It takes him a full five minutes to process what just happened. Then he makes his way to sickbay.

~~~

The Captain sits on the bed in one of the private examination rooms, his legs dangling, his hands balled to fists at his side.

“Spock,” he says to the shadowy figure in the corner and the strain in his voice is hard to bear, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I just… I don’t know what happened…”

Spock knows what had happened. The blazing eyes he had looked into in the Captain’s ready room had not belonged to Jim, they had belonged to Khan.

The Captain lifts his head and their eyes meet.

“Just shoot me now, Spock,” he says in despair. “If this has something to do with Khan’s blood or something, then I just can’t control it. I’d be better off dead.You’d all be better off with me dead.”

Spock steps close and puts a hand on the Captain’s shoulder. He has a good idea of what he is doing. It might be foolish but he would much rather know what he is dealing with right away.

The look in the Captain’s eyes changes, just a fraction of a second before he lunges at Spock.

Spock falls back and the Captain’s elbow hits him squarely in the face. Then they are both on the floor. It takes all of Spock’s strength to subdue his friend, Spock’s knee in the small of his back, one wrist pinned between his shoulderblades, head squashed against the floor. And he is still struggling. If this were really Khan, of course, Spock would have no chance.

The Doctor’s rushes in, hypospray with a tranquilizer in hand and but Spock, sharply, says:

“No!”

And over the Doctor’s objections he presses his fingers against the Captain’s face.

The meld does not last more than a few seconds, then Jim goes limp under him and Spock gets up, abruptly, his face very pale.

“Spock!” the Doctor exclaims, trying to touch him but Spock takes a quick step back, bends over and starts throwing up.

~~~

“How are you?”

“I am functioning, Captain. Thank you for your concern.”

“What happened?”

“Presumably a mental imprint of Khan’s katra. I can assure you that it is fully removed from your mind. But to make sure I hope you will permit me to perform another mind-meld later. It will be as shallow as possible and you should not feel any discomfort. Alternatively I have asked my father to provide a Vulcan healer. There are several in the San Francisco area that...”

“Nope. I’m fine with you. I don’t need anyone else rummaging around in there. Are you sure you can stand it, though? After everything…”

Spock’s face doesn’t change. He looks like a Vulcan Sphinx, mysterious and unreachable.

“It is not a problem, Captain.”

“And what about you? Does that mean you carry a piece of Khan’s katra around?”

“Not at all, Captain. It was merely an imprint. It will completely dissolve, given time. Most of it was already discharged.”

“Spock…”

“If you will excuse me, Captain. I will need some time to meditate.”

~~~

The Captain is stricken. He also, apparently, decided that all the Kirk-drama is too much for anyone to deal with and he has been keeping a very careful distance - from everyone.

As a consequence he has been extremely easy to deal with and Spock has had ample time to meditate and rest. After the strenuous experiences of the last months it has been a much needed reprieve.

It is only after Spock brings up the plans for the upcoming 5-year-mission that the Captain looks at him with haunted eyes and asks him, his voice strained and barely audible:

“You’re going to stay? I’ve been expecting your resignation.”

Spock looks at him, taken completely aback and more than a little hurt. For once his emotions are clearly visible on his face.

“You want me to resign as your First Officer? If my services have been inadequate…”

The Captain covers his face with both hands:

“No, Spock, dammit, that’s not what I meant. I just… Look, Spock… I’m sorry… You’re my friend and I’ve been treating you like shit. I don’t know how to make up for it. I’m not good at this sort of thing.”

“On the contrary. Your friendship is welcome and I value it greatly. Events have transpired that were out of our control and you were not at fault. You have done your utmost to set things right again. I would be happy to continue to serve you.”

The Captain looks at him, stunned.

“Still, I would like to make it up to you, somehow…”

Spock raises an eyebrow and says, tiredly:

“Jim, if you would manage to stay alive and out of trouble it is all that I ask for.”


End file.
